How Can You Find Out If Someone Is Gambling
Read some tips about how to talk to someone about their gambling here. If you would like more information on how you can help a problem gambler, you can call the National Gambling Helpline on 0808 8020 133 to: Find out how they can access support services; Find out how you can receive advice and support. You can find the three stages of recovery in our article on overcoming problem gambling. The winning stage. Problem gambling doesn’t always start by losing money, but by winning it. The initial big (or even small) win that a person experiences through gambling can cause them to become even more interested and intrigued by it. However, for someone to be said to be addicted to gambling, they must exhibit some certain traits, characteristics, and signs of gambling addiction. New members of Gambling Anonymous sessions are usually asked a series of 20 questions, and those that answer yes to 7 or more of these questions are generally considered to be gambling addicts.
- How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling
- How Can You Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Addiction
- How Can You Tell If Someone Is Addicted To Gambling
- How Can You Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Winnings
Gambling is often described as ‘the hidden addiction’. Unlike substance misuse or sex addiction, it can be much easier to hide the signs of problem gambling from other people. This is particularly true now online gambling is so widely accessible and popular.
But the effects of gambling addiction on a relationship can be devastating. It can destroy the sense of trust between partners often as a consequence of the secrecy or lies surrounding the addiction as much as the addiction itself. It can also ruin families financially.
It’s estimated there are around 450,000 problems gamblers in the UK. And anecdotal evidence suggests that every problem gambler impacts 5 to 12 other people.
What are the signs your partner is a gambler?
Many people whose partners have gambling addictions often report initially thinking their partner was having an affair as the signs are so similar. They include:
- Spending lots of time away. Do they often spend a lot of time away from the house and are vague about why? Some problem gamblers also get up very early in order to play before their partner or family are awake.
- Secretive around finances. Does your partner become cagey or defensive on the topic of money? Have they taken steps to conceal bank statements?
- Money going out of account without explanation. Obviously, it’s not always possible to hide it if you are spending large amounts of cash. Have you noticed unexplained deductions from your accounts?
- Secretive around internet use. Most gambling addictions are carried out online. Does your partner habitually delete their internet history or are they vague and evasive if questioned on their use of the internet?
- Emotional highs and lows. Do they seem extremely excitable and positive some times but then very low, upset or even angry with others?
- A change in behavior over time. You may feel like your partner’s behavior has changed gradually — getting more and more difficult or secretive in increments. This is usually how addictions begin: with things starting off more subtly, before spinning further out of control.
How does gambling affect relationships?
On a number of levels:
- The emotional impact. Very often, the partner of someone with a gambling addiction will feel betrayed upon finding out. There can often be a sense of feeling like they ‘aren’t enough’ to keep their partner happy. They might feel ashamed or even just simply hurt.
- Trust. This is one of the biggest factors. Most addictions involve some form of lying or concealment at one point. Many partners struggle to understand how their partner could have kept this from them, especially if it’s been going on for a long time. Trust can take a long time to rebuild after the revelation of an addiction like this.
- Financial. On a practical level, gambling addiction can decimate joint or family finances. It’s not uncommon for a problem gambler to dive into savings or take out multiple credit cards. This can leave the family with no other money for their basic needs, including household bills or mortgage payments. It also often means that peripheral things, such as holidays or new clothes for children, become unaffordable.
- Time. Something often forgotten about addictions is just how much time they take up. Gambling addiction can mean a person is away from their partner or family for long stretches of it — weakening their connection and making it that much harder to recover from the damage done.
What can you do?
How To Find Out If Someone Is Gambling
The first thing to do if you think your partner is a problem gambler is to seek help.
GamCare has a helpline (0808 8020 133) that’s open seven days a week. They can provide you with advice on what your next steps could be. They can also help you think about whether your partner has a problem — you don’t need to be certain to give them a call. Their trained advisors can give both information and in the moment emotional support to help you feel calmer.
They’ve also got an equivalent online service called Netline, which allows you to exchange instant messages with an advisor, and online forums, where people who’ve been affected by problem gambling talk and support each other.
How we can help
If your relationship has been affected by your partner’s gambling, then we’d strongly recommend coming in for face-to-face counselling.
There may be a fair amount to unpack following something like this. This is not only in terms of the damage it may have done to your relationship or family, but in understanding and coming to terms with the circumstances that lead to the addiction in the first place. Often it takes going back to before the addiction even started to begin to understand why it happened.
Many partners blame themselves for the addiction – believing that if they’d been a better husband or wife, this never would have happened but things are rarely as simple as that. Sometimes figuring things out and getting them in perspective can be much easier if you’ve got a little help.
Gambling, for some people, is a leisure activity that offers a night out on the town enjoying time with friends and family, with a distant possibility of winning money. For other people, the stakes are higher. After all, gambling is a $40 billion dollar industry in the United States. In Las Vegas alone—the unofficial gambling capital of the world—the casinos bring in over 10 billion dollars from people placing bets. Though many of those people only gamble once in awhile, there are people who make gambling the center of their universe. In other words, they are addicted to gambling.
How Can You Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Addiction
The temptations to gamble are everywhere and you don’t need to be in a casino to try your luck. Every state in America, with the exception of Utah and Hawaii, offer some type of legalized gambling—from old-school slot machines to sports-betting apps and everything in between. The accessibility to gambling has only amplified with the Internet. Based on various surveys in recent years, it is estimated that two million people in the US are addicted to gambling. But that figure has the potential to increase at anytime, because those same surveys revealed as many as 20 million people noting that their gambling habit had begun to interfere with their work and social life. That type of behavior falls into the category of “compulsive gambling,” which is the stage before gambling addiction.
What is Compulsive Gambling?
“The shortest version is that compulsive gambling is, as its name implies, a compulsion,” says Lance Dodes, MD, author of THE HEART OF ADDICTION: A New Approach to Understanding and Managing Alcoholism and Other Addictive Behaviors. “Compulsive gambling leads to an addiction, which is a psychological symptom that is well-understood and treatable with psychotherapy oriented toward that understanding. It is not a biological, genetic or moral issue, and it is not fundamentally different from other compulsive behaviors or addictions.”
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How Can You Tell If Someone Is Addicted To Gambling
Take our 2-minute gambling addiction quiz to see if you may benefit from further diagnosis and treatment.
Usually, people start out gambling for fun, and then they lose money they didn’t mean to, and they end up chasing that loss until all their money is gone. And in many cases, people are gambling because they have faced emotional and financial losses and they are trying to console themselves.
There is a misconception among many people that problem gambling, another term for gambling addiction, is not a big deal. “Most people don’t realize that problem gambling is a real disorder, just like alcohol or drug addiction,” says Shelia Moran, director of communications and marketing at First Choice Services, a nonprofit agency in West Virginia dedicated to mental health issues and problems. “They think it’s just a bad habit that can be easily ended. The good news is that we find most people who get treatment are able to successfully stop gambling.”
Gambling and Co-Existing Mental Health Conditions
Sadly, it is estimated that over 80% of people who suffer from some type of gambling addiction never seek treatment, no matter how bad their problem is. Other statistics reveal that while there are people who do seek treatment for their gambling addiction, over 70% end up returning to the world of betting. People with this type of disorder are more likely to suffer from other types of mental health and substance abuse issues. Many gamblers also have an alcohol disorder or addiction, and over half were nicotine dependent.
The emotional toll it takes on people is devastating, and in many cases a gambling addiction can also bring bouts of depression, and in extreme situations may lead to suicidal thoughts or tendencies. People with a gambling addiction are also prone to anxiety, high stress and extreme sadness. When a gambler loses everything, their life will suddenly become hopeless and they fear what the future might bring.
Gambling Addiction Symptoms and Signs
As with other addictions, there are warning signs to look out for. These include:
How Can You Find Out If Someone Is Gambling Winnings
- Keeping gambling habits a secret
- Having trouble controlling their gambling habit
- Continuing to be involved with a gambling habit when they cannot financially afford to do so.
- Resorting to illegal activities to pay for their gambling habit
Physical symptoms of excessive gambling include problems sleeping, weight gain or loss, dark circles under the eyes and extreme headaches.
How can you tell if someone has a gambling disorder? The American Psychiatric Association has developed guidelines and says that a person requires at least four of the following issues to take place during the past year:
- A person feels the need to gamble with an increasing amount of money in order to achieve the desired excitement.
- A person becomes angry, restless or irritable when someone tells them to cut back on their gambling, or to stop it altogether.
- A person will have unsuccessfully tried to cut back or stop gambling on their own.
- A person has frequent thoughts about gambling, including reliving past gambling adventures, planning their next gambling outing, and thinking of ways to get money to gamble with.
- A person will often gamble when they are feeling distressed.
- After a person loses money, they return to try and “get even” (referred to as “chasing” one’s losses)
- A person will not hesitate to lie to hide their gambling activity.
- A person will jeopardize or lose a significant relationship, job or educational/career opportunity because of gambling.
- A person will begin relying on others to help with money problems caused by their gambling habits.
Treatment Options for Gambling Addicts
If you suspect that someone in your life is addicted to gambling or a compulsive gambler, you should know that there is help. Here are treatment options to consider:
- “Behavior therapy and cognitive behavior therapy are recommended for compulsive gamblers,” says Katie Hurley, LCSW. “Behavioral therapy uses systematic exposure to the behavior to teach skills to reduce the urges, while cognitive behavioral therapy focuses on identifying unhealthy and irrational thoughts and replacing them with positive/adaptive ones. Family therapy is another option,” Hurley explains.
- Apps can help instill healthy habits and encourage consideration of events and emotions that lead to compulsive behaviors. Addiction AVERT app can help curb cravings. BreakFree can help people who use their smartphones to gamble spend less time on their phone.
- Adaptive coping strategies like exercise, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, and meditation are all positive options. There are even meditation apps that can help anyone who doesn’t know where to start.
According to the American Psychiatric Association, as of 2016, there are no FDA-approved medications for the treatment of gambling disorder. There is, however, emerging scientific research that has shown that medications can be effective in reducing the intensity of urges and cravings for gambling.
Finally, Gamblers Anonymous has been beneficial in the lives of people who have an addiction; however, they must first admit they have a problem, which is often times the most difficult thing to do. If someone is unable to find an accessible chapter of Gamblers Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous addresses many of the same behaviors.
Just as anyone can become addicted to gambling, anyone can stop.